Twenty-Seventeen is over and what a year it has been - for both myself and the world. So much has happened that has been both good and bad. I am currently sitting at my desk, reading through my past yearly reflections and wondering why the hell I write them. I mean, I am literally exploiting myself. Although I do benefit from it and it is nice to see how I am changing over the years.
Okay now lets begin with the main attraction of the year, my final year of high school. It feels strange to say that it is over. It has become my whole life - from going to sleep at night and waking up in the morning, it was constantly on my mind. High school was quite hard for me, not necessarily the academic side but the friendships. Seeing the same faces everyday for six years is bittersweet. You develop strong friendships and at the same time lose some. You laugh together, cry together and get angry at each other. There is bullying and fights and it can be draining dealing with that five days a week for many years. Nonetheless, I learnt so much about myself in school. I have experienced hell in friendships and breakdowns in exams but it has truly shaped me to become the person I am today. Aside from the social aspect of high school, I undertook the Higher School Certificate (HSC). I do not know how I survived it but that was a horrible experience that I am glad is over. I not only looked like a wreck but I was so exhausted and did not feel so great about myself. It took over my whole life, even though I tried my best to have a balance. A few nights after my exams were over I was dreaming about my study notes, quoting novel extracts and thinking I had another exam the next morning. It was so strange and took some time to heal...and now that it is over, I am lost but I have so much to look forward to.
Post HSC stress, I have really taken the time to check in on myself. I ask myself what I am doing now and where I want to be. One of the main issues I have struggled with for many years is my body image. Like most people, I am constantly battling with self acceptance - I think this is because other people have pointed out my flaws that has resulted in me always comparing myself to others. This year particularly I have really struggled...being at my heaviest weight, I felt so uncomfortable in my body. Since the start of November, I made a vow with myself that I will start taking care of my overall health and wellbeing, which has actually come through and I hope will continue to transpire in 2018. Aside from my physique, I hope to continue to work on myself mentally. For the last two years I have set a goal to put myself first. This goal did not perfectly go to plan this past year, however, will be my number one priority in the new year. From having more pamper nights, reading more books and writing more, discovering new hobbies, exploring nature to simply connecting with more people. I am my number one priority.
2018 will be the year of no more investing in one sided friendships and negative people. My whole life I have experienced "fake friends." I would give my heart and soul into someone and receive nothing in return. This past year, I have really found it easier to move on from someone. I have understood that time heals all wounds. I have tried my best to not to dwell on negativity people anymore. I had this one experience where someone psychologically messed with my head and I only later realised that I was slowly turning into a self absorbed, materialistic, selfish, arrogant person. This experience made me realise that negative people really rub off on others and learning to step away from bad energy is something I am glad that I worked on this past year.
I hope in the new year I continue to treat others with kindness. It is easy to fall into a hole and speak harsh words about someone and I can raise my hand to that. We share a life with all these people who experience shit. We are all on this journey together and which is why it is so important to surround yourself with people that are going to make you happy and feel good about yourself. I have learnt that there are going to be friends that turn into your enemies and people you just do not get along with. Through these experiences, lessons are learnt and we can grow and become better people.
2017 kinda sucked. However, I am grateful for the tough experiences I have had and the lessons I have learnt.
Here's to a year of self love, new adventures and a hell of a good time.
Love always,
Sara xo
