Sunday, 16 April 2017

Those People We Call Friends.

We accept the love we think we deserve. 

They have pinched every bone in my body and pulled me from one direction to another. They have made me weak but made me stronger. They have made me cry sorrowful tears and cry of happiness. They have made me angry, weak and hopeless but they have taught me the most about life. Why do these people come into our lives? 

Friends come and go and that is all a part of life. Over the years, I have seen my self lose faith, lose hope and lose all of who I am essentially. I always portray myself as a "tough cookie", meaning that I do not let other people hurt me and stand up for what I believe in. Whilst I agree with that to some extent, it is not entirely true. People can easily hide their feelings, others may choose to show it or let it pass over them. I have been constantly working on not letting other peoples opinions hold me down. It is something that I have been struggling with for my whole life, particularly the last four years. I feel everything. When someone I love is in a tough time, I feel it. I feel everything, even if I may not show it. 

One of the main problems that I am trying to overcome is being friends with someone who shares a relationship with someone who tore you to shreds. There are a couple of people in my life who ripped me in half and it really impacted the way I am now. What hurts me the most, is when the people I cried to and poured my heart out, still have some type of connection with the those that hurt me. I know it sounds selfish, but I have trying to understand that I cannot choose peoples friends. It sucks that the people I love do not respect that but I cannot do anything about it. It almost makes me find it difficult to trust anyone. - like how would you like it if your best-friend went out with your ex boyfriend? and did not tell you about it or if your best-friend goes out with the person who bullied you? and did not tell you about it. A lot of people in my situation would disband from these friendships and I suppose it would be the obvious thing to do. But my mind is blurred. I know that I will not have to see these people next year as we part ways.

My father always reminds me that we are the stars to our own show and get to choose who we want to be the people we work with. We have a choice in this world. We make mistakes and we learn from them. It is up to you to decide who you want in your life. - These people come into our lives so we grow.

Love always,
Sara xo

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